Marriage & Ministry
Student: “Did you struggle with having different dreams, yet still moving forward, trying to find the right direction during your first year of marriage?”
Jonathan: “Live in the day, but measure in the decade.” It wasn’t until a decade into our marriage that we realized our roots were going deep enough that our branches could carry the weight of the fruit of what we’re called to walk in. We have dreams, but His dreams and His voice trump everything. Your first year of marriage is only the very beginning of your story.
Melissa: What’s making you come alive right now, may not be what makes you come alive in 5 years. Seasons are always changing and it’s so important to allow yourselves to find your true selves. Permission to grow and like different kinds of things is important. Lift the pressure of having to know off your shoulders and know that passions change, circumstances and schedules change.
Student: “How do you balance a family’s ministry schedule from too much, but also not holding them back.”
Melissa: I think it’s important to ask Holy Spirit if your boundaries are also your children’s boundaries? Are the boundaries that we’re setting for ourselves, the same for our children? Boundaries have to be value driven. Our capacity isn’t necessarily our children’s capacity. And how do we steward our children’s capacity? Don’t be afraid to ask them more questions, than giving them answers.
Jonathan: As parents, it’s important to lead your children to the Father. It’s important for our children to discover the discipline of the Lord and it’s important for us to know when to step out of the way. Where are the moments that you’re leading your kids to the Lord’s discipline, teaching them how to hear His voice? It’s valuable to teach your children how to hear the Holy Spirit, move forward, and sometimes looking in hindsight and realizing “maybe that wasn’t the Lord, but at least I know now”, with no condemnation or shame, is good, because they’re learning first hand.
Student: “As a wife, when put into positions of leadership over your husband, how do you continue to make him feel like the husband and not feel walked over in those environments?”
Melissa: Championing one another’s strengths and giving room for one another to shine is valuable. At the end of the day, are you letting your husband be the leader, or letting God be the leader? When you’re submitting your heart, are you submitting to your husband or to Jesus? When both husband and wife are submitted under the Lord, it’s easier to trust each others judgement and to let eachother shine in their strengths.
Jonathan: For those who are doing a lot of work and ministry with their spouse, just because you’re around them all day, doesn’t mean you’re spending time with them. It’s important to intentionally set aside uninterrupted time with your spouse. It’s healthy to unplug and be alone, together.