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Healthy Relationships

Dr. Robi Sonderegger

00:31:29 · Community

"If the enemy has a plan for your relationship, what's your plan for your relationship?" Dr. Robi talks about expectations when it comes to change, your responsibility in being apart of the change and how the Lord wants relationship with you.

Healthy Relationships

Dr. Robi Sonderegger


  • Relationships are the thing that typically bring you to a place undone.  

  • It's challenging and we do make mistakes.  

  • Learning from mistakes is truly excellent.  

  • Divide and conquer = enemy’s plan.  

  • If the enemy has a plan for your relationship, what’s your plan for your relationship? 

  • Change is possible, it’s essential.  

  • God meets us where we’re at, but doesn’t keep us there.  

  • Do we want people to change to be more like us or change and be more Christlike?  


WHAT IS OUR EXPECTATION WHEN IT COMES TO CHANGE?


  • Change will always take place; with wisdom or with crisis.  

  • People don’t change until they are heard enough, learn enough, receive enough.  

  • We cannot change somebody; it is also true that we can inspire + lead people.  

  • We’re talking about culture.

  • Good communication + resolve skills don’t make for good relationships.  

  • CULTURE eats strategy for lunch; the culture that you cultivate will outstrip any strategy you have.  They’re high end skills; what kind of culture are you cultivating?  

  • All you have to do is NOTHING and the culture will self destruct.  

  • You don’t have to do anything stupid to ruin your relationships, you just have to do nothing.  


Talks about SouthWest airlines; had a disgruntled customer who thought the airline made light of the safety speech at the beginning of the flight; wrote an e-mail about how they were so unhappy and SouthWest’s response was, “We will miss you.” Instead of changing THEIR ways, they simply told the customer that they had the choice to leave; SouthWest was not going to give up their authenticity.

  • When other worship teams copy other worship teams, they’re not being authentic to who they are.

CULTURE: defines who you are and what you’re all about.  

HOW DO YOU GET IT?  

  • We have a responsibility to cultivate something; things are always changing; forward or backwards.  If you think you’re standing still, you’re not, you’re moving backwards.  Be intentional.  

  • How do we come up with our responsibility? What is your position in the relationship?  Or rule?  

  • Relationship + role = your responsibility.  

  • Positions aren’t chosen, they’re delegated.  In relationship, it’s God delegated.


Hierarchy pyramid. 

Bible: 

  • Submit to one another; gather everyone around and strategize.  

  • Come up with a battle plan; once it has been agreed on; then we fall into battle formation; when the general says CHARGE, we will charge; submitting to the authority.

  • Who are you responsible over?  Who are you responsible for?  

  • Understand your position and therefore the role.  

  • Who am I under?  God wants to be in relationship with us.  

  • God was in relationship with man before he was with woman.  

  • He puts man to sleep and creates woman; it doesn’t say how long man was asleep; we need horizontal and vertical relationship.


Horizontal - God’s blueprints for marriage.


Culture changes but God’s is timeless.


  • Talks about how men asked women to marry them in the Biblical times; all about negotiating a price for the daughter; not to BUY  the daughter but to BUY the right to ask the daughter.  

  • Jesus said take the cup; I negotiated a price for you.  He’s a gentleman; the price has already been paid for you and will be paid for you.

  • The more authority you have the less rights you have.  If you see someone demand their rights, the lower they are in the pyramid of leadership.  Jesus understood his position and the role that he had.  


The pyramid is a bow of a boat: it’s like an ice breaker - It requires humility; the culture of the team; we need intentional responsibility being upheld; let’s be boats that go the distance.