Learning to love and to build with people is essential for everyone, not just leaders.
It’s important for people to, at some point, feel the weight and reward of leadership because it can help increase their growth as a leader.
Leadership helps introduce and build empathy.
“Whatever team you’re leading, you want it to look like family because that is the Jesus model.”
It can be easy for what we’re really good at, to become our most important niche, because it’s what we feel like experts in. But the truth is, your gifts are just your gift sets, they don’t define what type of leader you are.
Jesus is the perfect model for leadership.
It’s dangerous to not be friends with the people that you lead because it can cut you off from vulnerability when vulnerability actually enables growth.
Once you stop growing, everything that you’re leading also stops growing.
Freedom is never having the pressure to arrive.
There’s a difference between transparency and vulnerability. Both are very powerful.
Vulnerability requires opening up the heart, which can oftentimes require permission.
What Are Your Team Values?
What do you want your team's values to be? Remember that there’s a difference between boundaries and rules.
What does your servanthood look like towards other teams and towards the people who are seemingly “below your position.” (like the sound guys, the ushers and greeters)
The gift of the Holy Spirit was given to swallow up your loneliness forever, not to make your meeting more fun.
Learning to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit and recognizing his presence is far more important than a set of rules.
It’s dangerous to charge in with other people’s values, and on top of that, not practicing them first hand, because it ends up leaving you with a lack of authority in that area.
Practice asking the Lord what His values are specifically for you and your team.
A team environment is formed in question asking. Jesus practiced being both a friend and a leader.
What Do You Wanna Be Known For?
You want to be known by your nature. You want your team to be known by their nature. When you grow nature, you grow maturity. When you put time into growing gentleness and kindness, you’ll see that when you get up on stage to lead, you’re automatically offering people what you’re already walking in.
If you’re growing beauty, then beauty shows up in the room when you do.
It’s powerful to take the time and ask yourself what’s really important. / Ask yourself, as a leader, what do I want my team to be known for? For the best songs, the most talented people, or for their love, their gentleness and how they treat the sound guy.
It’s important to live the life you preach about. Demonstration is powerful.
It’s easy to slip into performance when there’s a certain thing you’re wanting to be “known for”. If you’re wanting to be known for love, don’t fake kindness and patience. Be honest and authentic in your process with love.
What does it look like to grow certain traits? Ask the Holy Spirit for creative ways to grow (kindness, for example) in your team. - (Intentionality, vulnerability, etc.)
It’s valuable to ask the Father what it is your team should specifically grow in and then focus on growing it.
It’s easy for leaders to plant a seed and demand fruit immediately. But growth takes time, it takes nurturing, consistency and kindness.
When you demand performance or fruit out of the people around you without consistency or time, they’ll become uninterested in your vision or feel unsafe with your motives.
No matter the size of your team, it’s important to ask the Lord “What does it look like to lead my team? What is the fruit You want to grow?” Some fruit is easier to grow, some fruit only grows in certain seasons.
“You don’t plant and then demand everything to grow at the same time.”
Confrontation and Communication
Connection lies on the other side of conflict. It’s impossible to have true intimacy without confrontation. “Conflict is the price we pay for intimacy.”
One of the things that leadership tends to lack the most in is humbling yourself before your team, to confront and be confronted.
Let your moments of confrontation be a moment of transformation, growth and love with your team.
“When the disciples looked in Jesus’s eyes, what they saw was perfect love.” Jesus didn’t allow things to fester up inside, so that when his disciples looked in his eyes, they saw perfect love.
Melissa shares the four different types of responses when conflict appears: “Move away, move toward or move against”. What is your natural response when you sense conflict?
Melissa also brings up the difference between false self and true self: There’s power and beauty in moving away, moving toward and moving against conflict while remaining in your true self, rather than your false self.
Jesus practiced a beautiful posture, moving against, moving away and moving toward. It’s possible to do all three of these things in a healthy, balanced way.
The more you practice healthy conflict, the sooner you’ll see healthy fruit.
Without tension you can’t make music. Take the tension out of any instrument, it won’t make proper sound. The same goes for relationships.
The tangible power you feel on a stage, has a root system while off stage. The authority you bring to a stage should be something you’re actually focusing on growing in your personal life.