Lesson Preview
Lesson Preview
Enjoy a short preview of this lesson
To continue watching, please sign in or subscribe

Loving Yourself Well

Abi Stumvoll

01:09:48 · Lifestyle

Abi shares with us the power of self talk, self love and how loving yourself isn’t just a peace campaign, but is a commandment. 


  • Abi shares about her childhood and and young adult years working through learning and physical disabilities. 
  • “If you teach me how to love myself, then we could change the world.” 

Biblical Reference 

  • The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry. Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. Then he said to the tree, “May no one ever eat fruit from you again.” And his disciples heard him say it.” Mark 11:12-14
  • “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21
  • “So Jesus said, "When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me.” John 8:48 
  • The devil is a liar. (References to John 8:44)
  • It says that he’s a murderer, and that specifically 5 times he lies. He never physically went around killing people, but what this shows up is just how much life and death the tongue actually carries.
  • “The spirit of criticism is the spirit of death. The voice of accusation is the voice of murder.”
  • “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” 
  • Loving yourself is not a peace campaign, it’s a commandment. 
  • Loving yourself without loving your neighbor is called narcissism, and loving your spouse without loving yourself is called codependency. 
  • The two commandments are tied together, because they affect each other. 
  • “The more you agree with the voice of truth over your life, the more you feel His love, the more you become His love.”
  • “Self hatred puts a wall against receiving love”. Once you say you’re unlovable, you create a barrier between you and Jesus. Your entire life is meant to be loved. 

The Journey 

  • “Here’s the crazy thing, the truth will set you free.” Even if you don’t mean it. What you say over and over again creates your emotional experience. 
  • “Someone else can say truth over you, but it won’t settle the war.” You have to decide if you’re going to listen to the voice of truth, the voice of God, or listen to the voice of accusation, the voice of murder. 
  • You can’t fight a war if you’re not on your own team. 
  • Would you treat your friends the way that you treat yourself? Are you in a healthy relationship with yourself? 
  • “When we are on our own team, the anointing of God has no blocking.”
  • “The goal is to be as kind to yourself as God is to you.”

Being Kind To Your Heart 

  • Abi leads an example of self love and being on your own team by bringing up a friend who represents Abi’s heart in this demonstration. How unkind it is to treat another person the way that we can treat our heart at times vs. speaking kindly, repairing relationship and being compassionate towards our heart. 
  • The lie is that when we fail, we’re to separate ourselves from God until we get better and are ready to re-approach Him again. But The Gospel says that before you’re worthy, you’re deeply loved. His love is the thing that empowers us to make different choices. 
  • Punishment and self hate never produces fruit. It’s important to invite His love into the places that you think are most unworthy, and allow His love to transform you. 
  • She gives an example of a child being deprived of food by it’s guardian, how often times we act as the guardian and starve our heart of the nutrients it needs. And she goes on to references how the bible is constantly talking about feasting and eating. What does the child need in order to grow healthy and be strong is more food. Our heart requires nutrients in order to grow healthy and be strong. 
  • Everytime you beat yourself up, you’re communicating to your heart that it’s not worthy of food. 
  • He doesn’t say “The banner over you is love, but only when you’re pretty enough and behaving well.” 
  • “Conditional love is when I only love myself when I do things a certain way, when people respond to me well and when I do things right. But I don’t love myself when things are failing and when I’m not perfect.” - The whole gospel is based on Him loving us past what our minds can make sense of, unconditionally. Otherwise, we’re performing for love. 
  • You either agree with God’s love and truth or you agree with the accuser and death. 
  • It’s worship to find everything right with you. You’re agreeing with your Creators creation. It’s like going to a painting and calling out everything you don’t like about it. It’s rude and dishonoring to the painter.